"You mean Madi isn't your only child?"
Some of you know that G is autistic…or has autism…or is on the autism spectrum . . . . Who knows the politically correct way to say it these days. Let me just sum it up by letting you in on a tip: you probably don’t want to sit in front of him on a long haul flight. He’s very particular about his world and what he wants.
Having a child with autis…..having a child who nobody wants to be on a flight sharing their seat back with does open your eyes to the toleration levels of people in our society.
Folks have their own interpretation of how/why G has his quirks. One afternoon after a heartfelt disclosure, a mom in a previous neighborhood actually had the audacity to tell me that in her opinion "all the answers lie in a family's parenting skills".
How I wish my mom was around to correct her on that one! (And we all know Melodee would!)
The Young Men's experience of this past week combined with hours and hours alone have given me ample opportunity for reflection.
I think I tend to hold off on sharing this "label" too freely about G because I want folks to see the amazing young man that he is, and not a boy who is on the "Spectrum". And let's face it - it's hard to hear some folk's harsh opinions.
The military has labeled us as EFMP. A program for families with an Exceptional Family Member - even going so far as to varying degrees of how 'exceptional' a family's needs may be.
Schools have IEPs - a plan that specifies what a certain student may need.
Church has it's own label, but I won't re-address that.
Church has it's own label, but I won't re-address that.
The older G gets - the wider the gap becomes between him and his peers. I'm having to accept these differences. Not in a negative way, mind you. Just a realization that my once ambitious expectations of what raising a teen-aged son would be like are now drastically different.
My longstanding joke of packing G's typical pb&j lunch and driving him to NASA for work becomes more and more of a reality each day.
I absolutely LOVE this photo of our little family from what seems like many moons ago. It captured the real dynamics of who we were back then, and still are.
Nope, we are a family of 4. Our lives are intertwined yet parallel - and as tight as any family can be!
4 comments:
Oh how you have been on my heart since your last post. I almost sent you a private message.
That post was so hard to read. That picture I'm looking at under this open window shows the Langs I know and love. Your last post just broke my heart because I saw Issac's diagnosis coming. I saw Conner's. I did not see Garret's. I don't see the label. I see the little blonde boy that wanted to be Arleigh's surrogate brother...sometimes.
What's hard is, I don't know what to say. I want to help you but I don't think you need help. I want to fix something that doesn't need to be fixed. I don't want to say the wrong thing, though I may be right now.
I guess all that's left is, we love you. We're praying for all four of you. I will always be happy to fly with Garrett and ignore him. Ray probably has some of the same weird issues. I call him Monk sometimes. If you ever need us, we're happy to walk the road with you.
As grandparents we have loved G since his birth. We didn't understand his long colic stage of crying and never wanting to leave your and Dave's side but we loved him still. He was about 5 when Dave confided in us about his autism. We were taken back some that Dave hadn't told us sooner, but we loved G the very same and then we started to try and understand him more fully. Garrett is a gentle giant. He is so loving and caring to those he knows. He is smart and intellient and his happiness lies with a computer and books and more books. More happiness would be, a friend that would understand him and have the patience to be his friend. We have prayed every day for all our grandchildren and their different needs and wants. Learning to love G is not hard at all. A little patience goes a longgg wayyy. I know you and Dave have learned patience, sometimes the hard way and sometimes the easier way. I marvel at how wonderful and caring Madison is with him. You are a wonderful mom and wife to your family. We have always seen that in you. My heart has been broken this week, but yours has been crushed. I am so very sorry for you and Dave and Madison. Someday we all will understand, if we can wait that long.
We love you all and can't wait to see you in Sept.
Love,
Kathryn
what a beautiful and well written post! I can tell you are an amazing mom and your son (and daughter) are so very lucky to have you as their mom! that is the most adorable family photo of you guys! love it!
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